It means an upright posture and an open body (no crossed arms or hunched shoulders, in other words). That means great eye contact when merited, but also looking away when doing so will make the speaker more comfortable. Sure, your ears are the most important part of your body when it comes to active listening, but it’s just about every other part of your body that tells the person talking that you’re actually using those ears (and the brain between them, of course).īecause you’re not speaking while you’re actively listening, it really comes down to body language to make sure the other party knows they are being heard. Demonstrate EngagementĮffective listening sometimes begins with body language. There are many factors that go into being a good active listener, but most every one of them can be tucked into one of these five critical active listening techniques. 5 Things Active Listeners Will Always Do (Thomas Barwick / Getty)
Just as someone can tell when an active listener is tuned in, so too can they tell when the other person is merely waiting to get their turn to talk, interruptions or not. Even if you don’t interrupt once, you make eye contact, you nod and smile or shake your head and frown as body language makes sense given the tenor of the talk, if you are simply waiting for the other person to be done talking so that you can speak, you are not being an active listener and you are not being polite. If you are actually paying close attention, the other party will be able to tell, no butting-in required.Īnd perhaps the cardinal sin of poor active listening is the act of waiting to talk. Far too many people make the social mistake of thinking asking questions shows that they are paying attention and interested, whereas in fact these interruptions may only serve to irritate and befuddle your partner in the chat.įrequent interruptions, even if well intentioned, demonstrate social communication skills that need improving, not those that are well polished. This, of course, is the opposite of good active listening.Īctive listening also does not mean asking lots of questions, especially when those questions are asked during an interruption.
But in these cases, the listener is paying attention only inasmuch as they are planning how to counter or even refute the points made by the other person. A courtroom lawyer or debate club member may listen very closely and critically to what another party is saying, for example. Communication Skills: Active Listening Does Not Mean Waiting for Your Turnįor anyone who wants to be a good active listener, it’s imperative to realize that active listening is not the same thing as close listening or critical listening.